Almost 10 years ago (wow), I couldn’t do without a large group of friends to function normally. I was never really part of the cool group but I did manage to make friends by well pandering. In my defense, it obviously worked and I wasn’t alone. Now, looking back I don’t regret doing what I did to make friends, peer pressure was real and kids can be mean if they see you wandering alone without any company. It was easy to be termed as the weirdo of the class!
Now, I am quite content with my own company. I have been asked multiple times by various people if I get bored after I moved to Seattle. With weather being the way it is and not having a full-time job, the question was inevitable one.
As I write this, I think back to the times when I was still figuring out a routine for myself. Initially, I did a lot of binge watching and eating. I walked around in grocery aisles learning about produce and other products. I cooked, cleaned, did laundry all the while playing something on my laptop. This was now my life and there were people who didn’t really think I would be perfectly happy in this seemingly simple life.
I didn’t feel the need to drill it in others’ heads that I am 100% satisfied with my routine and with being by myself. I am not sure if they would even believe me if I did! “Who is she trying to convince?” is what they would think. Being comfortable with being yourself happened to me inadvertently, I got distance from the people I knew and my perspective about everything had a dramatic shift. Since it’s not a tangible and physical growth, it’s hard to explain the internal shift I have had in the last 2 years. I have become much more secure with what I have, I truly find joy in things that I like doing, I have sincerely stopped overthinking and pleasing people. With that distance and mental peace, each day the worry of not having a large circle is diminishing. Thank god for that!
Do you find joy with people around you or do you like to keep it low-key?
Guest blogger, Plant Life Meals