Yesterday I was watching this movie on Netflix, it is one of the top 10 movies right now on that platform but it made me doze off in the middle. In the moments I was actually awake, I caught this surprisingly meaningful quote told by the protagonist, ”The youth is often wasted on the young”. She goes onto explain that she would now give anything to rewind 20 years of her life (she’s presently 40) and truly celebrate her body and not get caught up in her own perceived insecurities.
That triggered something in me. For the longest time, I was dissatisfied with my weight, with the way my arms looked, my torso, my stomach, you name it and I had an issue with it. Not saying I am completely past it but I am slowly trying to be more thankful for what I have, the energy with which I am able to work through the day.
Because guess what, what we hate about ourselves now won’t matter in the next 20 years or so. What will remain is the regret of not being truly happy with the way we are. The insecurities that we carry along with us not only weigh us down but also hold us back. For instance, I still don’t prefer wearing shorts because I don’t like the way my legs look in them. And the worst part is, no one has really told me that I shouldn’t wear shorts. I know I need to get out of my own way!
And these insecurities still play on my mind, it’s like I’m still in college surrounded by girls who made me feel that I was out of place just because I didn’t fit the mold of the quintessential college girl. I was on the heavier side and I wore clothes that were comfortable and loose, which maybe made me look even bigger. That didn’t bother me because no one could really see my bulging tummy in that XL tee. Each day was a new struggle because I was told that I look 25 when I should be looking 19. I took everything to heart and didn’t try to tell them off, mostly because I agreed with them. I also saw myself through a very warped and unfair lens.
But not anymore, I have unlearnt a lot in the last 5 years and I don’t let myself get bogged down by such unnecessary standards. So, no protagonist of that really boring movie I saw, I don’t plan on wasting my youth but can we agree that I did waste my Saturday watching this movie!?
How are you working towards overcoming your insecurities?
Mondays with Madhu
Guest blogger, Plant Life Meals